:: midnightride ::

you know, i just had a chat with a close friend of mine this morning. he, just like my any other friends, was surprised with my statements when we talked about marriage. i said to him that i didn’t feel like getting married. not now, not in the next 5 years, at least.

i’ve so much to achieve. i dream a lot. i want to make them all come true. on my bed room wall, there are already twenty-i’ve-to-do-things before i reach thirty *agaaga ga realistis lagi* and "getting married" is not one of them. i dun know why it wasnt on the list. when i made the list, i didn’t even think about it (marriage).

if you ask me why, what my reason(s) is(are), i won’t know what to say. maybe im just afraid. maybe im just being selfish. maybe im just not ready. maybe i just dun want to :D. some of my friends even ask what my BF thinks about my decision. actually, i dun know. i never talk about it (not getting married soon) and he hasnt asked me :D.

somehow i know that he isnt in a hurry either, haha.

its now almost midnight and im still up. i was doing some stupid things using PS CS just now, getting  bored and then here i am. anyway, im lucky that the class is canceld tomorrow :D. so it doesnt matter if im still up ’til 4am or so.

[sigh]
its been one fine day to me. i went to gonzaga today and had lunch with my old teachers. they taught me a lot. my highschool time was unutterably great. gonz has always been my second home. i met my first english teacher, mrs. Rini. she looked somehow a bit fragile (is it the right word? i wonder). i talked with mr. adi - known as mabro - my first physics teacher, still joking around like usual. i had a chat with ms. sisca, my physics teacher, still as elegant as the last time i saw her.

i met
mr. triono,
mr. heri,
mr. yo,
mr. edi,
mr. tri susila,
mrs. sri superti,
mrs. irma (*halo bu, gimana rangkuman bukunya?*)
mr. tomo,
mr. is
    : one of my fav - he teaches biology; i remember his waving hands. also remember the gestures       he made while explaining about chromosomes and all

i miss everything about gonz:
the chapel,
the (seminari) field,
the hall,
the canteen,
the walking i used to have with my friends around the basketball field,
i even miss the smell of the nice locker room behing the hall :D.

some might think i missed a certain someone i met during my 2nd grade. but it’s not al all about him. i barely think about him when i was at gonzaga today.

[sigh]
i remembered about my days of practicing soccer with the boys. i couldnt even remember with whom i practiced that time but i do remember the first goal keeper in the team who taught me how to catch : richard arya. he made me cry one day in a game :D. its a great game i had in canisius. we won, first girl soccer team in gonzaga and we won. tunjung, our coach, treated us in pizza hut after. he’s one hell of a coach :P.

well. it’s been one hell of a very fine day to me :). *halaaaaahhh… bahasamu…*

its been two weeks and im counting the days. its like [sigh] i really need to see him. who ? oh, at least i know who and im sure he knows it too :D. i just never though it will happen to me.

arrrggghh !!!

[gapentingbangetsih!]

[boeat noe]

setelah nulisnulis yang soksok susah, yang setelah dibaca lagi juga agaaga ngebingungin, mau nulisnulis yang asikasik aja ah *egois dikit boleh duoung*.

suatu hari nih tiga orang yang buta jalan nyampe juga ke lippo karawaci (supaya tidak sendirian menyebut diri begitu ehehe). daridulu gw selalu pingin balik ke lippo karawaci untuk naek.. ROLLER COASTER. nora sih, aneh sih, tapi mmg pingin gila gitu.

jadi, habis makan di KFC (ngga, ngga promosi neh), dengan menu Super Panas Jumbo (1 ayam + nasi + 1 soft drink jumbo = Rp. 12000 - udah pake tax), gw ngarepngarep tuh roller coaster masih jalan dan ternyata memang maseeehhh. senangsenangsenangsenang !!!

habis makan, trus gw merayurayu noe and christa gitu supaya nemenin gw naek roller coaster *niat gila, jadi gw sampe beli powercard timezone yang entah kapan lagi bakal gw pake gituh*. akhirnya, jadi juga deh gw naek roller coaster. gw duduk paling depan sama christa n noe maunya sendiri gitu dibangku kedua. huh.

tuh roller coaster memang ga seremserem amat jg tapi puas aja gw naek itu. udah luama abis setelah terakhir naik itu. eeehhhh… masih ada klanjutannya. ternyata si noe mungkin kebanyakan nyengir gitu pas naek jadi deh dia kembung. pas turun mestinya mah orang pucet ketakutan eh dia malah pucet karena kembung. hekekeke.

habis naek itu trus ngaps ? ya pulang dong ke peradaban di jakarta *udah kangen banget* !!! tapiiiii tuh bis lippo baru ada yang jam setengah 4 ke psraya dan jam 3 ke mangga dua sementara kita udah mau pulang jamjam 1an gitu. agaaga panik juga.

tapi gw, noe, n christa akhirnya nyebrang keluar, pedepede nanyananya supir angkot yang ngetem, akhirnya naek 07 deh turun deket tol, nyegat 34, dan baru nyampe jakarta jamjam (berapa noe, gw lups :D) 3an gitu. dan sepanjang jalan gw tidur baru bangun deket Al-Azhar gitu huekekeke.

what a trip !!!

catatan: pas hari sebelumnya, kemampuan nyela gw baru aja terasah karena habis reuni kelas 1-2 gonzaga di dimsum festival. *halo, cha!*. nah. noe agaaga kena akibatnya gitu dey hehehe. dikit doang koookk. biasanya gw manis, sopan, pendiam, dan lemahlembut, kok noe. (kalu ada hukum orang yang tukang bohong langsung mati, pasti gw gitu korban pertama X)). maap yak !!!

\(",")/ tomorrow is my last day-off.

within two weeks i’ve decided what i really want to do and which path i have to choose about my life but it seems that it’s not what He has in mind about me X). yet, maybe.

so i’ll have to stick "around" for a while and try to survive somehow. i’ve been in the same condition for four freakin’ years and i’ve survived the worst (and being in that condition even has given me the chance to meet an extraordinary man :D). why not try to see it as a *blessing in disguise* ? i believe that people may have plans but God leads us to even better, if not, best plans for our lives.

i experience that all the time.

furthermore, this (money-oriented) institution im in right now, is not the end of everything. ups. shudnt’ve written that out loud but what the heck. if those people may say everything to take everything away from me, why can’t i do the same ?

cheers.

busy.

busy.

busy.

even have no time to breathe :).

have no time for my beloved ones and or my "beloved one" (if you know what i mean).

he’s there for me, i know. i can’t describe sumthing hurling inside though if poeple ask the answer sure is still the same : i.am.in.love.with.him. PERIOD.

i dunno. a bit worry, i guess? or maybe just a bit emotional xp. he says that all the time about me.

anyway, pppuhhh.., lain kali, d ga akan ngotot tentang hal-hal bodoh deh :")..

[hug]